


My Mistakes Were Made For You

by CellophaneDiamond



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, M/M, Madara POV, Unrealized Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 06:24:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17782271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CellophaneDiamond/pseuds/CellophaneDiamond
Summary: "I loved you, Hashirama. My feelings were subtle as an earthquake, but I was oblivious to it."





	My Mistakes Were Made For You

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This fic was not beta-readed, so possibly there are a few unnoticed mistakes. Sorry in advance.

Our story is an epic tale of war and love. 

The war in which our lives were built. 

The love I never realized I felt.

I loved you, Hashirama. My feelings were subtle as an earthquake, but I was oblivious to it. Despite everything you represented to me I loved you. A Senju. An enemy. A rival. The only man who could ever defeat me. And yet I loved you, because you were my friend. You, kind-hearted as no one before, believe in a goodness in me only you saw and embraced me in your musings and made me believe that a perfect world was reachable as you.. 

Our meetings were in secrecy, forbidden and, nonetheless, those were the times I was in something one could describe as peace, if I was able to achieve it. Deprived from your presence, my life became chaos.

As Tobirama cunningly observed, the Uchiha clan develops the Sharingan when they lose someone beloved to them. I can attest the veracity of his conclusion for my powers bloomed when I was forced to leave you behind, cutting you out of my life in a single blow. My heart was torn into pieces as I looked back and saw your face twisted in despair, certainly mirroring mine. That sight changed me. In a split second later, I knew my Sharingan had awaked.

I tried to forget you, yes. Tried with every single fragment of my being. For long years, I thought I was successful, that I doubtless made you my enemy. I masked everything you represented to me to make myself hate you. How could I think I would be able to proof my heart for you if you were the one who shattered my defences?

So I did what I do best. I fought you. I brought carnage with me whatever battle I was. I became a nemesis to you clan. I attempted to make you hate me. 

But you could not hate. Not me, not anyone. If I could say you lack something, it is darkness and there is where you balance me. My half. I was destruction; you were creation. While I’m completed drowned in shadows, you are soaring in the most beautiful lights.

When I fell in front of you during the war, I was madden by grief of losing Izuna, fallen by the hands of your brother. His death obscured me from all good sense, and seeing only through the thick curtain of a lifetime of built hate, I heard your speech about our youth dreams with a vainly shielded heart, because you could blast my barriers with ease. I gave you an insane condition for my surrender and I saw you hadn’t change at all. You were willing to sacrifice your own life for peace, putting everything above yourself. I remembered how illuminated soul was. 

Dream of peace never suited me. I was born for war battles and you for shouldering the hopes of the shinobi world. Your fantasies of a united nation, where no child would die, no war would happen, were crazy as myself, although they infected me, making me believe it could somehow become true. Megalomaniac in your caring way. A gentle heart enough to show kindness towards my kind and me, enemies you were taught to hate.

You achieved our dream and we set a truce. Peace reign between shinobi, driven by our example. The wars ended. But as it brought clans together, it broke us apart. Neglected and feared, I was felt alone. People never trusted me and it was mutual. I never trusted anyone but you and my own kin. Later, I only trusted you, because I knew only you could bring me what I wanted: death.

In times of peace, I could not deal my frustration. Now I see it as it is. In battle I had your complete dedication. Your full attention was on me. Without war, I had to share it with the village, your brother, the whole population who distrusted me and my clan for the sole reason of our roots. You were the one to trust me in this childish dream we managed to make true.

That was my mistake. I should have known this dream of ours would only lead you away from me. You tried to make the people see me as you did, but they were not blinded by the veil of affection that covered your eyes.

You should have trusted them, listening to their advise on me. They were right in telling you not to trust me blindly, however they wronged my reasons. I never envied your power, nor your position. I envied the attention they gained. I hated the negligence towards me. But again, I never realized that was the source of my building anger.

I turned my back to the village I created and named and to you, my dear. Failing in bringing my people to my side. See the irony? You’re such a great leader I couldn’t make my own clan turn against you, a Senju. Therefore, I made you my target. If you were my opposite, I must have you down. 

Hashirama, with your hair as dark as my heart, I saw in you a friend in those old juvenile days and I was forced to leave. In a strike of passion, we got peace. But then, I willingly made you my foe.

In our last battle, during a struck of ignorance, I truly believed I could defeat you. But how could I, if you overpowered me from the moment we met to my last breath? Not only by violence at war, but your bliss made my walls vanish. Your smile made me undone. You could broke my defenses without a touch. I wish I did the same, but I knew no way other than brutality to show you my devotion. 

Each punch, blow and jutsu landing on my body was a relief to my heart. Finally you were mine again, looking at me. Seeing me. It was in battle I could should you my feelings, I could be my true self. In violence I got the passion I wanted from you. In violence I made myself yours. Every drop of my blood defiling your skin was a proof of love. 

I summoned the Kyuubi and armored it with my Susano’o aiming for the victory. Surprisingly innocent of a man like me to think that you would lose. My perfect doujutsu could see everything and still I was blind to the truth. It was all in vain. Your Mokuton, the greatest sign you were loved even by nature, overcame the living representation of hate - a summon that suited me quite well, if you think about.

To gain your attention I conjured powers nearly beyond my grasp and yet you managed to win again. You last move showed how well you knew me. You tricked me to believe, using my superb against me, I was victorious. A second later I felt your blade tearing my flesh, piercing my heart - a physical depiction of what your smiles did to me. 

A better shinobi, a better leader, a better man than I could ever possibly be.

I fell on the what people would later call Valley of the End. 

My end. 

Our end.

**Author's Note:**

> First of all: thanks for reading this work and I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Second: My otp, right there. It amazes me how they’re not canon, because it’s so obvious! Their feelings for each other as clear as the day is bright, although I believe it took a lifespan to Madara noticed he loved his childhood friend. 
> 
> And for Hashirama, I do think he was quite aware of his own feelings, but Madara’s twisted showing never made him quite sure if his love was reciprocated.
> 
> Third: The title is a song by The Last Shadow Puppets. I was writing it and I could think in a good title when it hitted me. All shit Madara made was to gain back Hashirama’s attention. And the first verse of the song matches Madara’s feelings perfectly - “About as subtle as an earthquake, I know.”
> 
> There’s the link to the official video, if you’re interested: 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cQloro92xA 
> 
>  
> 
> So, thanks again for giving this fic a bit of your time and I wish it was worthy it!


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